i guess we always fear taking the first step

i feel accomplished today.=D it's just quite embarassing when my throat gets all choked and cackled up when i have to speak and it isnt the first time that has happened. ohnoo.

anyway, it had been a great week. visiting + catching up+ goodies and SLEEPING. my favourite hobby now is probably sleeping. haha!okay.

finally, work on monday. Thank God for the wonderful week!

ciao!

sometimes it's best to think before shooting words off.
breathe cool down.
and show remorse.
best way to salvage an ugly situation.

but i suppose the smartest move is to control my temper.

and things will turn better=DDD

Niceeee song!

thank god it's friday. last day of work and chinese new year to look forward too=D work has been rather fun cos i got to tok to more ppl and i can now recognise many of them by their names. hahaha! everyday is just " (XXXXXX)( my company name) Good Afternoon." " just a moment please"...etcetc. i'm so looking forward to cny plus all the goodies. it's quite funny that i kept telling my mum not to buy soo many goodies this year. but we still end up having too much. too much for a family of 3. hope that realtives who come eat more of them.

anyway, ytd i waited a whole 30 minutes for the freaking bus to arrive and ended up being a litle late for work. but the strange thing is i always reach the bus stop at the same time. so that particular bus driver must be slacker. SLACKER!booos!! so today i was at the busstop and i recalled one of my church friend saying how she gt to believe in god. " God if you are God turn the light of the water flask or boiler RED( i think which means when the water boil it will turn form yellow to red). and it turned RED very soon or immediately. hhahaa! so today i did the same thing" God, if you are God let my 257 come quickly. " and in less a min. 257 came . " hMMMM. sth to ponder on....

then to think about it. i thought i heard in church that you shouldnt say anything "if" when requesting sth from God. cos god can do ANYTHING.so to me, it's quite confusing...some things to me are always quite puzzling. i always have questions for everything. like how when i study chem. there's always me asking why this and why that. and my sis always say i shld just accept things as how they are. sometimes i feel that i think too much. not in the good sense though. unneccessary questioning that doesnt do anything gd to me.

And Anyway... i am stilll very unsure whet i wanna study. too many uncertainties especially issues abt whether i will enjoy what i study or whether that will guranteee me a job in the future. sucks.or whether i can get into course that i would like. and i wouldnt want my results out any time soon. i cant bear the thought of going through the wait in the hall with all the speeches and ppl going up stage with brillant results and sitting down there waiting for ages just for that lousy result slip.


as of now, i just cant wait for cny goodies and the week off next week. no work!!!!=DDDDD

ciao!

" to hear D for so long is just so frustrating. she just drains all of my energy and i feel myself melting. i'm melting and i cant take it anymore"says A

"it is like a kittycat. meow" says tyra
nigel goes" meow"

antm is so addictive. i can watch it a thousand times and laugh at the judges comments over and over again. i think the episode tonight was the 3rd or 4th time i watched it?but it's still gdd.

ok besides that.work has been fine. spent most of my time thinking what i shld do when there wasnt anything to be done. and yay! i have been a good girl this week. practised my piano everyday. great achievement.i hope i improve though.

ciao!

one week of working has passed. it was okay. rather slack bcos there wasnt much to be done. sadly,they blocked many websites on their network and i could only communicate via email! and spend my time surfing. initially i tot that part time wasnt gd and i wanted a 9-5 job. but as of now, this arrangement is not bad since i get to practise my wondaful *coughs!*piano skills in the morning before heading to work at noon. starting to feel the pressure. i really think i am so dead. hopefully i get my fingers in shape when march comes. nervous, i want to end my almost 10 years long of saturdays lessons well. if not it really is a waste isnt it.

my sis spent almost 3 hours toking christianity to me. from 12 - 3am last night. and she says i am a lukewarm christian. one that believe but doesnt like to commit. i really think i am. i don't think of after death scenarios. i dont really tok to my friends abt christ( bcos i dunno how to start.and i awlays think it is hardly possible for someone of another religion to become a christian). sighs. i dont deny i'm a bad christian. or probably a stubborn person who refuses to change my way of thinking. yeah. it's true that with god all things are possible. that i agree. but i always still have this part of me thinking in human way rather than thinking of God. gahhh. this sucks. i do really need to be less stubborn do i. it's hard la. to change ur perspectives.
but i guess i will take a step at a time slowly. it's hard to suddenly change everything.

it's cny soon. i shld reallyx10000 times start to get my lazy ass moving and go running. it's been 2 weeks since i last ran. and i'm thinking of signing up for somekickboxing or aerobics or issit body sculpturing thingy. but currently noo time at all. or maybe go learn swimming. no time too. guess i wont have time any time soon. =( or wadever it is. i shld get my heart pumping before my arteries get clogged with fats.

CYA.time for bed.

Flightless Bird, American Mouth


I was a quick wet boy
Diving too deep for coins
All of your straight blind eyes
Wide on my plastic toys
And when the cops closed the fair
I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map
And called for you everywhere


Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous,
weeping
Or lost you?
American mouth
Big bill looming

Now I’m a fat house cat
Cursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide/white fence cracks
Kissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, brown hair bleeding
Or lost you?
American mouth Big bill,
stuck going down






this song's awesome. but i have yet to figure out the meaning of the lyrics which is a little far too cheem for me to comprehend.apparently gt to do with some american's dreams. but the melody is really gd. the last soundtrack in twilight while bella and edward were dancing. loved it the first time i heard it.

past2008present2009

2008
completed A's. done with school. did my last napfa. became less antisocial i hope( though i am still). nomore math anymore except for the simpler ones. done with waking up at 5.30 everymorning. ran 21k.ate macs for almost 2 months 5days a week. gain weight. did or did not grow taller but grew fatter.

2009
ERM. practise piano more often hopefully at least 5 times a week. pass my piano exam. go church more often. be a better christian.be more financially sound and ept. save electricity. be less gluttony. exercise more. shed more fats. sign up for more runs. get ready for unilife. be prepared for my horrific results. sleep early. be more sociable/less antisocial. earn more money. get a tuition job.

HAPPY 2009!=D