Dreamer

If only life was simpler .

Work starts tomorrow. Not feeling excited. We shall see how it goes.luckstomeiguess

Feeling like uuuhhhh these days.

Of people of society of pressures of judgements of stereotypes of ignorance of happiness 

It's depressing

September's gonna be one long roller coaster ride. Sighs. 

Some beer and nuts would be gd now 

http://issuu.com/rachp2/docs/architectureportfolio_rachelpek/1

im done with sch. time to face reality. =/

If life could be simpler,  less influenced by societal norms. I woukd live my life as it is now.

But unfortunately i cant.

Thus. #yolo while i can i guess.

#sevenamthoughts

U are healed when it doesnt matter u anymore. #quoteoftheday #lifeisgoodwhenyouthinkitis #woohoo

Busy is good.

Well, graduate lo!

Work has been great. Tiring but satisfying and my sleeping cycle is back to normal. And so is my health. Life is gooooooooood.

SINCE SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY OVER, and my mind is just full of exploding emotions now. let me blog...


Aki school has been full of ups and downs along the ways. more downs than ups. yes forsureeee.
Many times, i keep wondering to myself, if I had made the right decision for such a course, for there were too many depressing moments in archi. One after another. where u get pushed to the edge that you become numb. yes numb. my blog's name.

So bloody numb. or maybe tt's just an excuse. of course i'm affected. I choose to be overwhelmed by my emotions sometimes but maybe in the presence of others, i'll appear numb. But after one, two , three, fouretc sems. I realized all i needed was to hold on. to hold on to something that I may not do that well in. but enjoy very much doing so.

Too often, working on my projects have gave me lots of enjoyment doing so. Even towards the end of thesis , while i was swearing so badly cos thesis was too much to handle. Some part of me knew it was worthwhile, and with encouragement from people and advices, i knew what i was doing was something that was meaningful. and that was enough. In life, as the next generation, i suppose that's what we are here for. to think about what we can do for the future. that's what architecture is about. So much more than just creating something that falls perfectly in the eyes of others. Maybe im saying that cos I no longer care.


ok. digressed too much abt architecture.

Anyway. akischool has made me realised so much about myself. What i like what i dislike What kind of person i am. It has shown me the worst side of myself especially in times of stress. which i would want to change. Akisch has also made me realised how blessed i am. for my family who has given me too much love than i deserve. just way too much i cant even....;')
for friends, for their encouragement and support all the way. even occasional texts of encouragement that gave me the extra push all the way.;')

and for GOD, who has been forever so merciful giving me the strength to overcome this tortuous five years To God be the Glory, The Best is Yet To Be!



JUST TOO BLESSED.  really.

Project i did while on exchange. the model was so stunning. amazed by the students there. 

doing up portfolio submission to the dept tmr, hence, these photos.

The model if it was complete.

it's two days after final presentation and all i can think of is all the mistakes that i have done in my presentation. what I should have said but didnt.


cant sleep. keep thinking.

so wanna pinch myself

Ending my five years of nodaynonight archi sch. Nth impressive but I have already given my best. ytd I was as usual as nervous.the panel wasn't kind but the affirmation by my tutor did calm me down.

The feeling of hitting the bed under my comfy blanket .it has been a while.

Just wanna tks everyone who have helped.esp the mum n sis. And all ur lovelies for all the endearing support through my last stretch. Greatly grateful.

And thank God for just mercy and grace  he has given me in the last five years. without the strength masters year would never have been possible

Time to eat sleep repeat.for nw

This was 12hours prior to submission.

Thesis was quite a bitch.I'm glad its almost over. Time to sleep.

Fmlfmlfmlfmlfmlfmlfmlfmlfffmflfmffml

Dies screams

A neighbour whom my family has been quite close too passed away recently. It was sudden and unexpected.

I rmb the bubbly her who will always ahare her delicioua cooking.chicken curry yam kueh.ngoh hiang.she would always ring our hse if she prepared one of those dishes, wanting to share with us.gonna be weird walking by her hse be knowing we wont be able to say hi or chat with her anymore.

Will miss her dearly .
Most importantly i believe she is in a better place nw =)

Wip.

8days to submission.the house is an exact description life my current state of mind.

what did i sign myself up for all this suffering .



on a side note, 2 of my neighbours have asked my mum why the light in the house is always on.
maybe the rare few that is lit in darkness.

gonna be known as the one in my block who doesnt slp.





MEH. slp is underrated. I WANT SLP

400bucks fly away.

Somuchstressicoulddie.zhenmoban

Amt of stress now is fucking insane. Helpz

Surviving on 3hrs of slp everyday. Thesis sucks sucks sucks

Needs slp 囧

ONE bloody month to go
TWO daily dose of caffeinekick
THREE DAMN BOARDS
FOUR hours of sleep meh
FIVE am WAKE ME UPS
SIX DAMN LEVELS
SEVEN DAYS OF CAD
EIGHTUALLLLLY.im just damn bloody stressed.
gdNINEght i wish and so..
kTENXbye.

When the day has come
But I've lost my way around
And the seasons stop, and hide beneath the ground
When the sky turns gray
And everything is screaming
I will reach inside
Just to find my heart is beating

Omagerd

After this month.I will age 84636395030151yrs.#thesisvomitblood

Hey dude and chick. Eyes on ur books and shut ur mouth. Fing noisy. Hates it when ppl pda instead of concentrating on their work.and doesn't help when the girl's all whiny and all.and beside me.

#Wtf #timeswhenugottamaxupurmusicvol #irrits #wannapdapleasegohome

stresssssiol. =/

The clock's ticking n tt 's ain't a gd thing.

Paniccccccc

Gdmorninggdnight

hope i'll survive this last month of sch.

Little did i know tt construction law is the ultimate bitch lol.design is for once  comparatively bearable.

34moredays to final sub.Gogogo.
Gowhere

After a week of deprived slp.  19hours of slp is BLISS. #thesisisstillabitchthough

Dying

Thesis is a major bitch.

Whatever that is driving me crazy. #needsamiracle indeed

Letsssssgoooo.#selfmotivate

Too many things, too little time.alwaysalways.

Thesis panic

my thoughts are all over the place.

times like these, i know im not really cut out for this.

but oh well. gotta keep going.






what a haunting song. + the guitar. (y)

U gotta convince yourself

Thesis is @%#&$*$*%@ sighs

Lifting some burdens off the mind has been easier than expected. =)

body's pretty much screwed up.

as much as i try to sleep more,

headaches still spring up every now and then.

and when they act up, it goes on for days. 

also i have my meals more regularly now. 

but gastric juices' been a wrecking bitch.

currently suffering from BOTH.

=/

“Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never go back to the innocence that they had before.” — Zooey Deschanel

cant help feeling irritz when people try to impose things on me

do things ur way and i do it mine way.

gotta admit i value my freedom way too much. #ocdmuch.

I find myself absurd sometimes. Can't comprehend why I feel think or act a certain way.

But I guess. Everyone feels the same too.it just that too often ,we just choose to believe how we feel what we do is what is supposed to. And perhaps never do we actually react to these actions.
Wells,

Thoughts before turning in.my brain has been too active these days .at the most unearthly and inappropriate time.k nites.

And the bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen too much
Too young, young

Birds flying high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Reeds drifting on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me
And I'm feeling good =))))

what a roller coaster week. still quite numb from the shock , lost and worried at the same time.
and the chinese song playing on youtube is triggering some thoughts that shouldnt reappear.

it's hard not to compare your life to someone's else. you think you are unlucky but come on,
there are so many people out there who which to be living like you.

be content. be thankful.
you are blessed.

things are gonna be better!

feeling low.

trusting God and his strength.

i think this probably sums up my new year resolution .